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Over-functioning: The good, the bad, & the ugly

Loving our teens and young adults is the primary purpose for parenting them well.

We all love our kids and want the absolute best for them. At times, we get frustrated by the tug of war between frustration and control.

Our young adults are trying to learn how to become independent. Cue: snarky facial expressions now! I get it Mama, being independent starts with picking up their dirty clothes off the floor and carrying out their normal day to day activities.

Can I ask you to step back from that mindset for just a few seconds to consider some new thoughts?

The first thing I'd like you to consider is this: While keeping on top of them may seem like a great idea, its often counterproductive. The more you micro-manage, hover and monitor the less likely they will respond to you in a positive way, increasing the divide and the tug of war between you.

Empowerment is the second topic I'd like you to consider. When we step back and give them a bit of breathing room we are beginning the empowerment process. What this does is it shifts responsibility from YOU to THEM. It's in this space that we give room to breath, room for them to practice decision making and take ownership of their actions. All of this increases their responsibility and leads to independence.

A common mistake most Moms make is thinking that they need to step in and rescue their teen/young adult from pain and consequences. The truth is this chips away at their self esteem, prevents them from building resilience, and leads to more costly mistakes as they grow older.

I realize that watching our teens make mistakes and suffer is NOT EASY! Jesus never told us that loving others well would be easy. When you consider your life, most of your huge moments of growth followed mistakes. When we step in and try to put our young adults in the mistake proof bubble, we are actually contributing to stunting their growth and development.

This is the kind of thing I help Moms discover and navigate! I'd love to talk with you about how to get to a place in your parenting relationship where this becomes second nature for you as a Mom.

If you would like to see how we could work together, please book a FREE discovery call here: https://bookme.name/LivingFullLifeCoaching/lite/doreen-steenland

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