Parents of Teens!
I've been hearing from many of you about how lockdown is going?
Tensions are high and people are getting irritable!
Our brains are wired to look for the negative, and there seems to be much negative to pay attention to when you are a teen in lockdown.
As a matter of fact, have you ever noticed how you can say 12 great things to someone, but they only hear the one negative?
Yes, we all have!
When we hear something we perceive to be negative, the alarms start flashing in our brains screaming, "THREAT, THREAT, THREAT!"
The threat response can be noticed in the fight, flight, or freeze arenas. This area of your teen's brain is supercharged and firing on all cylinders!
So how does this show up for your teen? You say something that they perceive to be a threat.
They will respond in one of the following ways:
1. go to their room and slam the door (Flight)
2. argue, bicker or talk back with disrespect (Fight)
3. Withdraw and become extremely quiet; shutting you out (Freeze)
How do get our teens to think instead of reacting?
✔️The first step is to manage our own response to their reaction! If we are honest our natural tendency is to react right back at them! This starts a vicious cycle that goes nowhere quickly.
✔️By pausing and asking ourselves questions, we put our brains to work and send the energy to the brain's CEO (the prefrontal cortex).
✔️Ask yourself, what's really going on here underneath the surface? What do I want to accomplish right now? What would be the best way to accomplish this?
By starting with ourselves, we demonstrate for our teens that it is possible to manage our emotions.
Next week, our parenting community is beginning!
In it, we will go through practical ways and personal examples of how to tackle these tough relational issues we are experiencing with our teens.
It's not too late to join! We will meet the 1st and 3rd Monday's of each month on Zoom from 1-2:30 pm EST and grow together.
Register or reach out to me to see if this is a fit for you!