Any parent who has been around for any length of time with a young adult knows exactly what I'm talking about! The minute you say something that your teen does not like, you get it.......the eye roll and the door slam!
It could be so frustrating and feel downright disrespectful! This lockdown for COVID has proved to be a challenge for all parents of young adults right now. There is part of us that wants to keep them safe and protected (and us too) and another part of us that knows how important socialization is for them at this age. I just want to say: I know the struggle is real!
Like when you say that your county has had a huge spike and all their friends have had exposure, and you get it.....the eye roll and the door slam.
The common mistake most people make when they receive this sign of disgruntled communication is that they yell and scream in anger at their teen.
Let me say that this does more harm than good and it increases the drama and division in the home.
Why? When we scream and yell, their brain gets triggered and suddenly you are the enemy.
You are no longer able to communicate in a rational way. Your brain and your young adult's brain is screaming "threat, threat, threat!" When you yell, they either fight (yell back), flight (go to their room and slam the door), or freeze (withdraw and hide from you). This is not the way to have a rational conversation. Sadly, our society models this type of communication, but we can do better.
What if you could feel empowered and increase your teen's cooperation?
What if you could gain more respect from your teen, even when emotions are high?
When my one client came she described her home as "living in survival mode" with lots of drama, yelling and damaging conversations. After completing my program and learning the secret sauce, she said her relationship with her teen has changed dramatically.
She says there is way more respect and