Parenting a teen is tough work and often messy!
You see them briefly and immediately think in your head, "you need to ------, you should------, have you -------, when are you going to-------".
If you are anything like me, the list is endless.
How does your teen respond when they are greeted like that?
Cue eye roll, door slam or the disrespect and that isn't any fun for anybody! It automatically triggers us to react out of anger and disrespect in return.
Cue vicious cycle of anger--->guilt------>shame!
What's really driving us to jump on our teens the minute we see them?
I know for me, it was about urgency. You see, I only saw them a few short minutes a day and I wanted to get in all my lectures and wisdom in those few minutes. 🤣🤣
What did this lead to? When they saw me coming, they wanted to run the other way, because they knew it meant "learning time or lecture time". Which was the exact opposite of what I was looking for!
If I wanted to have a solid relationship with my teen, I needed to change the way things were going; yes, it needed to start with me!!
You see, when they get to about 16, you start thinking, I only have a few years left to tell them everything I want them to know!
Which meant I was parenting out of fear instead of empowerment! I needed to change my focus!
Thankfully, I did and it worked! The result was empowerment, my teens taking responsibility for their own behavior and actions, it included some fails (which was part of the on the job training) and a better relationship with them.
We all learned, grew and changed together!
What are some things that may need to change in your communication with your teen?
PS: If you want to learn more about this then the Capturing Their Hearts zoom workshop for Parents of Teens is for you!
The next one is starting soon! Https://LivingFullLifeCoaching.com/capturing-their-hearts