Updated: Sep 28, 2020
This photo made me think about hard work. Dedication. If I'm honest, I want the easy way to become successful, whether it is in my relationships, my work or my sports. I don't want to work hard! Hard is not always fun!
I believe our teens feel the same way. They want success to come easy. They want to become overnight social media stars earning megabucks! They want to be a professional athlete! But is this reality?
I wonder if we are not doing them a disservice by making things easy for them?
What happens to your teen when they have to work hard to achieve?
Do they become insecure? or Does it drive them to work harder through the challenge?
How you answer this question will tell you a lot about their mindset. If they become insecure when things are tough, it may be that they are operating from a fixed mindset.
People with a fixed mindset are focused on appearances, fear of failure, comparison, approval of people and a belief that they already have what it takes to succeed and if things get hard, it shakes their confidence.
Sometimes, as parents, we can unknowingly reinforce these feelings by the types of "encouragement" we give them. "You are a genius" is one such comment that can harm your teen's confidence in the long run.
One way we can help build a growth mindset in our teens is by rewarding efforts and actions, not traits. "You worked really hard to solve that problem, you must have learned so much!"
Are the messages you are sending your teen's fixed or growth-oriented?