Our words matter! Our words have the power to hurt and they have the power to heal.
Hurtful words tend to come up at times in our marriages.
Why do we lean towards the use of careless words with our spouses?
🤬Perhaps it is because we are most comfortable in our own homes with our spouses.
🤬Perhaps it's because we have gotten into the habit of only seeing what is wrong with our spouse. (What if you choose to look at things differently? What if you chose to find things to be grateful for in your spouse?)
What should you do if you have hurt your spouse with your words?
🤬The first step is to take responsibility for your own actions. Even if you feel passionate about the situation is it possible that you could take responsibility for the way you communicated with them?
🤬One thing to consider is: the things we tend to feel most passionate about, are usually the very things that trigger emotional, uncontrolled reactions in us.
🤬What does that look like to take responsibility for your own words and your lack of self-control? "I know what I said was hurtful and I feel terrible about how I said it". "I'm sorry, I can do better, will you forgive me?"
🤬Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot state, "unless your apology contains all three R's (responsibility, regret, & remedy), your spouse may sense that something is missing".
🤬If there are still things that need to be discussed, you can make a plan to come together and finish the discussion when you can control your emotions better. Be sure not sweep it under the rug without discussion it because it will crawl out at another inopportune time!
🤬Last, but not least, is forgiveness. Forgiving others is one of the keys to happiness in relationships.
Do you and your spouse have rules that you employ to fight fair?
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