Empty Nest is described perfectly in the word Transition!
"Transition is one’s inner response to external changes. Transition is primarily a psychological adjustment we make to a world that has shifted (either by our own choices or by the actions of others). Transition is the process by where our inner world catches up to and adjusts to a changing outer world." Chad Hall
Things in our world have shifted! Let's face it: we've spent a large portion of our lives absorbed with our kids. Now things are different.
It is a transition. It is harder for some than others, but in order to grow through this transition, we need to learn to let go.
Let go of the following:
🐦Let go of what the relationship was and rejoice in what the relationship will be. It will be different and different is not bad. It's just different.
🐦Our teen's brains are growing and developing. Part of that development is pulling away and figuring out things for themselves. They are forming their own identities and this can feel threatening to us as parents. It is not a personal attack. Don't take it that way. Trust that you have instilled good things in your teen's heart, now they need to apply it.
🐦Let go of your expectations. I'm sure you had an idea of how things would look when your teen went off to college. Guess what? Your kid's college wants to keep them so busy that they assimilate into their new environment with ease. This is a good thing. If your teen is adjusting, let's give thanks and give up our expectations.
🐦Let go of the idea that we can still control them. The only person we can control is ourselves and that's a big enough job for me. When we try to control and manipulate others, it smothers the love out of the relationship. Let it go.
🐦Let go of the idea that they are not capable of making decisions. Let's face it. They will make bad decisions at times, but that is how we grow and learn. Don't live in fear! The more we tell our teen's that we believe they are capable of making good decisions, the more they want to live up to that and make us proud.
🐦Let go of the ideas that you need to stuff your emotions. Your emotions are real. It's okay to feel them and grieve the transition. Find a friend to share with, get a life coach, share with your husband, but try to not add that pressure to your teens. Remember, they are in transition too! Let them find their way.
Well, that's it for now until next week!
What lessons in letting go do you need to learn?