Conversations lacking open-mindedness? Dr. Gary Chapman writes this so beautifully that I thought I'd just share it as is!
💜"Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who already made up their mind about you—without taking the time to understand all the facts? It's frustrating, to say the least. They'll often put up their hand or interrupt your explanation because they've already made a determination or judgment about your motives, whether true or not.
💜It's easy to imagine another person doing that to us, but what happens when we flip the scenario and we're the ones who have already made up our minds about another? Doesn't feel quite as justifying, does it?!
💜Sometimes what we think we know about a person or their behavior becomes an obstacle to reconciliation. When we find ourselves labeling others or putting them into the box of "you always" and "you never," we miss critical observations because we are no longer curious. Our defenses have been raised and our "relational circuits" turned off.
💜So how do you know when you've shut down relationally?
💜Ask yourself, "Am I curious?"
💜The key to restorative communication is curiosity and understanding. When you are authentically curious, you'll ask clarifying questions. You'll seek to understand the person rather than judge their behavior. You won't be passive-aggressive but will seek to resolve differences in order to restore your relationship. You step closer instead of stepping away.
💜The next time you find yourself shutting down a relationship without hearing the person out, step back and allow yourself to better understand them rather than their behavior. You may not be able to change them, but you'll create a climate for honest and honoring conversations that lead to healthier outcomes." Dr. Gary Chapman
💜What can you learn about communicating better from this article?