Do you find yourself in a rut with your spouse?
Are you saying statements to yourself like, "that's just the way she is" or "they will never change"?
If so, it's possible your brain is struggling with a "negative sentiment override". A "negative sentiment override" is a couple's overall perspective on their relationship, their interactions, and the other person.
These negative perspectives work to affect our mindsets and all the communication that takes place.
How do we change this phenomenon?
🧩Spend time with your spouse connecting in a friendship. When we deepen our connection the feel-good hormones, such as oxytocin, are released in our brains. This affects our perspective, shifting us to a "positive sentiment override". (Gottman)
🧩When you are separated during the day from your spouse, remember your thoughts matter! If you say negative and critical things in your head, it affects how you will interact when you see them.
🧩Remember to spot, identify and communicate the positive. Letting our partners know that we value and respect them is huge in a relationship.
🧩Having a heart of gratitude to your spouse and expressing it to them leads to a "positive sentiment override" in the brain.
🧩Challenging your negative mindset and calling out the lies! Once you call them out, speak the truth in your head and to your partner.
What ways do you need to adapt your thinking?