Are you a SuperMom?
I know I've been guilty of having a "SuperMom Syndrome" at times!
SuperMom Syndrome is the delusional belief held by a mother that she is capable of doing all things for all the people in her life at all times while perfectly managing herself.
I don't know about you, but I get tired as a read that definition. The word I'd like to focus in on is the word delusional. Delusional is based on or having faulty judgment; or being mistaken.
As Moms, we think, if we do everything for our kids and give everything to our kids, we are controlling what they will become in this world. In one sense, we are, but not in the ways that we had imagined.
Our basic job as a parent is to raise kids that will not need us when they grow up; kids that will be independent thinkers and problem solvers. If we are doing our job right, we are working our way to unemployment.
What are some lessons that our kids must learn in order to become independent adults?
1. They need to know they are loved by you and loved by God. This love has nothing to do with the performance and everything to do with who they are as humans.
2. They need to be able to identify, name and manage their emotions. Let's face it: many adults cannot do this. Study after study finds that the most successful and desired employees are those who can understand, manage their emotions and express empathy to those they come in contact with.
3. They need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions. Society has shifted away from kids being responsible for their behavior and responsible for managing age appropriate aspects of their lives. When we over function in this area, we are sending the message that they are not capable and we do not believe in them; instilling insecurities.
4. They need to have a growth mindset. A mindset that is willing to try things that are hard, work through them, and even fail without being defeated. People with a growth mindset have grit and look for all the things they learn from their failures. This propels them onward to bigger and better things.
5. We need to help our kids learn how to talk properly to themselves. To stop lying to themselves. Just because they faced difficulty, does not make them stupid. Don't allow your kids to feed the gremlins in their minds with lies.
In the Parenting with Intention workshop, we talk about stuff like this and have tools to equip you to train your kids brains in these areas. This workshop runs two times a year, Fall and Winter/Spring.
How can you remove your SuperMom cape and hand it to your kids?
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