What drives your goals? What about your teen's goals?
Whether your goals are internally or externally focused will indicate your satisfaction in life.
What is the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic goals?
Intrinsic goals focus on personal development and becoming the best you can be in a skill you have chosen to master.
Extrinsic goals are those that revolve around people's opinions and external rewards, such as money, popularity, or praise.
What is wrong with extrinsic goals anyway? The problem with them is that you have no control over them. You can perform just as you expected and still not receive the rewards that you think you deserve, which leads to dissatisfaction.
What if we changed our focus to an intrinsic perspective?
What would that look like?
Let's use golf as an example. If my teen has a goal of becoming a high paid professional golfer. Not only do they want to go Pro, but become sponsored by NIKE. They will be super unhappy if that doesn't come to fruition. These goals are focused on others opinions and rewards, something they cannot control because life is not fair.
However, if my teen sets the goal that they will practice and master their skills, they will learn how to manage their emotions on the course, and they will learn mindfulness techniques to help them perform at optimal levels. Then they can have the satisfaction that they are succeeding in their goals. These goals only depend on them; not others opinions or rewards.
How will you help your teen transition to intrinsic goals?