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Communication Mishap

What happens when miscommunications happen in your marriage?

For me, it's sometimes hard to manage my emotions when I feel wronged by my spouse. I've learned a few tricks along the way, to help me communicate better with my husband.

The first thing I need to remember when miscommunication happens is to pause.....stop talking! Yes, I said it. Sometimes when we are trying to defend ourselves, we just make matters worse. Take a moment and breath. Remind yourself that you are on the same team and that this relationship is your number one priority.

Ask yourself a question: Do I really want to feel this way? Do I want to argue or do I want to resolve this conflict? You get to choose in that split second of time how you want to live the rest of your day.

Ask yourself: I wonder what triggered that response in my spouse. Start to listen to what they are saying and try to put yourselves in their shoes. What else might be going on under the surface with your spouse?

Choose your words wisely. Take the time to acknowledge how your spouse is feeling and thinking. I'm not saying to take responsibility for something that is not your responsibility, but what I am saying is that you do have to acknowledge that there was a strong emotion for the other person.

What can you say when your spouse has misunderstood something you have said? Start by acknowledging their feelings. "I can understand why you might be hurt by what I said. I did not intend to hurt you like that; I love you too much to do that." Then remain silent and give them the chance to process your statement.

Chances are, if you acknowledge their feelings, you will be able to move forward and talk out the situation with grace and love.

What tips do you have when communication mishaps take place?

Doreen Steenland 
101 Brighton Ave.
Spring Lake NJ 07762


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