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Shame


Brené Brown is a leading researcher into shame and vulnerability. She defines shame as “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”

Today it seems, people are shamed for what they believe and what they don't believe. Shame is a feeling you get when someone is judging you and you feel less than.

We do all kinds of things to avoid shame. For example, when we make a mistake, we try to cover it up. When we live our lives trying to cover things up, we just fuel the fire of shame, because shame needs secrecy to exist.

What is the antidote for shame? Honesty! When we are honest when we mess up, it is scary, but people have more respect for us then when we lie and cover-up. It is hard to be honest when you are expecting to face criticism or be attacked, but it is necessary.

What helps me to own up to my mistakes is to remember that everyone makes them! I am not alone. There is no one who is perfect.

My job when I mess up is to own it and take responsibility for it. I am responsible for my part of the problem. What I am not responsible for is how others respond to my ownership.

Doing the right thing is hard, but in the end, it frees us from the shame of secrecy and keep us from hiding.

Where are you allowing the hidden things to keep you in bondage to shame?

Where are you allowing the hidden things to keep you in bondage to shame?


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Doreen Steenland 
101 Brighton Ave.
Spring Lake NJ 07762
732-449-4491
doreen.steenland@livingfulllifecoaching.com

LivingFullLifeCoaching@gmail.com

 

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