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Let me fix it!

Ever been going through something and you just want someone to listen?

If we are honest, the minute someone starts to tell us a struggle, we have the desire to fix it! Why is that? I think it is because we don't like to see people struggle. We want to take away the pain. Or maybe, because we proudly think we know what's best for the other person. Whatever the reason, what if we tried a different approach?

This especially comes into play in our marriages. Let's face it: we are fixers. Sometimes, we just need someone to sit there, listen quietly and just give us space to process.

What if we use this as an opportunity for self-management?

Ask yourself a few questions: Have I been asked for advice? If not, its best to wait until you are invited to give your opinion. Your opinion is just that, your opinion. Why do we presume to know what is best for someone else?

Ask yourself what is going on in me that I feel the need to fix this person? Is it insecurity and then need to make myself look all-knowing? Is it that I am trying to take away my own discomfort? What's your reason?

Lastly, ask yourself, how close am I to this person? You do not have the right to speak into everyone's life unless you are invited to do so. We are not God. We do not know all the facts. We are not called to be everything to everyone.

What have you noticed about yourself?

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Doreen Steenland 
101 Brighton Ave.
Spring Lake NJ 07762



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