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Leave your bags at the door

What baggage are you bringing with you that is unnecessary this Christmas?

I loved this definition of baggage from the Urban dictionary. An issue regarding a person's past that can affect their current disposition: addictions, debt, diseases, bad habits, past relationships (significant other or family), or kids.

Or the traditional definition of baggage: past experiences or long-held ideas regarded as burdens and impediments.

You see, the baggage that we bring with us to the table are the lens in which we see every situation that occurs. Two people can be sitting at the same table, see the same thing and come up with two different interpretations of the circumstance.

Our baggage is our long term fixed ideas of how something is or should be.

You see it all the time in families.

People come to the table and visit the same circular arguments over and over again. Its cyclical, neither party changing or growing, but remaining fixed in their thinking.

What if you said to your circular friend, we visit this over and over again without ever resolving this issue...."we can do better" and then you took the first step towards growth?

As you approach the circular cycle, stay calm(anger only makes the circle more fixed). Remember to approach the situation with gentleness and respect.

Honor others points of view, even if you don't agree.

When we make statement like, "You really can't believe that; can you" or "that just stupid", we are setting our relationship up for failure.

Sometimes, if we just have mutual respect, we will get closer to the solution you are desiring.

Other times it will require you to forgive. Yes, I said it. The dreaded word forgive! Forgive defined: stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

Wow! If we just forgave (stopped feeling angry or resentful) we would be filled with so much more joy and peace (even if the other party doesn't).

What steps will you take toward removing your unnecessary baggage this Christmas?

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Doreen Steenland 
101 Brighton Ave.
Spring Lake NJ 07762



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