Your Words Matter

leadership mindset and goals neuroscience parenting personal development working moms Nov 13, 2021
👉Ever feel like you are about to lose your cool with your teenager? I think we’ve all been there.
 
👉Imagine for a moment, your teenager has pushed your buttons one more time…..you’ve had a horrible day, and this was the last straw. You feel like every day is the same song and dance over and over again. You asked them to do something and they forgot.
 
👉You let them have it! You blow off steam and get your frustration off your chest. (needless to say, your frustration was pre-existing that you brought into this situation as an accelerant)
 
👉What happens next?
 
👉Your teen either responds disrespectfully, storms out and slams the door, or you get to a screaming match, which is no fun for anyone.
 
🔥Can I share a secret with you? The minute you lose your cool is the moment you’ve lost your influence on the situation. This is true at home, at work, or anywhere other human beings are involved.
 
🔥Let me explain, our brains are wired to connect. We cannot affect someone if we do not first connect with them. Rarely will someone willingly take advice, direction, or ideas from someone who has treated them with disrespect, impatience, and hostility?
 
🔥Now, should your teen have done the task? Yes, of course.
 
🔥Was there a better way this could have been handled? Yes, absolutely!
 
🔥You see your words and actions matter.
 
🔥At the time of your frustration and adult temper tantrum, you left your “window of tolerance”(Dr. Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson). When your window of tolerance and entered a stress response, you know the fight, flight, freeze, or faint in your brain. This is where automatic reactions run the ship. This is what happened at that moment for you when you lost your cool.
 
🔥What if you choose to react intentionally?
 
🔥What if when you felt things getting hot for you internally, you paused? You know what I’m talking about. It may be a feeling of redness in your face, muscle tightening, jaw clenching, heart racing symptoms. When you feel these symptoms, it is your body sending you a message to notice what is happening for you.
 
🔥Notice your body’s signals and take some deep breaths. Take a moment to self-regulate. Take a moment to check in with your “REAL” thoughts, needs, desires, take a moment to think before you react. If you pause and notice, you can check yourself instead of fueling the automatic reactions.
 
🔥Once you are aware of your internal landscape, you can decide what and how should happen next. This is an intentional action that is not reactive as you engage a different area of your brain.
 
🔥Your words and how you choose to use them matter.
 
🔥Lastly, once you have lost your cool, how can you make things right?
 
🔥Can you relate??? Answer with an emoji, GIF, or words below.
 
PS: If you want to process different words to choose, DM me and we can chat.
 
#LivingFullLifecoaching #wordsmatter #IPNB #neuroscience #resilience #manageyouremotions #manageyourthinking #renewyourmind #selfregulate