Over-functioning with Her Young Adult KidsNov 03, 2021
👉Emily (name changed to protect confidentiality) came to me with the OVER/UNDER cycle front and center in her life.
👉For her, it showed up in several places, but the main place we will camp out on now is her OVERfunctioning in her young adult’s life. 👉(The beauty of coaching is that you get to explore all the over/under areas during your calls as they show up)
👉She loved her two young adult children so much and just wanted the best for them. This great love led her to “help” her kids with everything. You know what I’m talking about…...
👉She pushed them, she “reminded” them, she “nagged” them, and she wanted to see progress….PRONTO….. She admitted that many of these actions were coming from her own low level of nagging anxiety about helping them succeed. She often talked to other moms about their kids' journey and felt like she needed to keep up with them so her kids don’t fall behind.
👉These thinking patterns led to her actions and feelings with the result being, emotional distance from her family. This emotional distance led to resentment, after all of the things she does for them…….
🙌When we paused to examine this OVER/UNDER CYCLE in action, this is what she discovered. " I was functioning with knee-jerk reactions to all the external pressures. Once I was able to step back and notice where thoughts and emotions were coming from, I was able to show up for my kids in the way THEY NEEDED ME TO and this changed everything in our family’s dynamics”.
🙌She was able to come away with a clear strategy so that neither she nor her teen felt like they were left floundering without support.
🙌Can you relate to the OVER/UNDER CYCLE? If so, type yes in the comments!
#livingfulllifecoaching #parentcoach #IBNB #neurocoach #parentteens #quitoverfunctioning #createindependence #independentteens #growthmindset